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A week of racist immigration ruling in the Supreme Court, the US government spending $98,000 a minute on nuclear weapons and the White House celebrating the killing of Palestinians

A re-reading of the news through an anarchist lens

Design by Naomi Gennery @nn.aa.ii

Hi, I’m Marcela: I’m a comedian, I live in Brooklyn, and I really like to tell people how to feel about the news. After wowing zoomers all over on TikTok by giving them news with a sense of humour and anarchy, I decided to start a weekly Sunday newsletter to share my feelings about more news. 

My newsletter has evolved into this beautiful news column for shado which also covers international news. I hope the newsletter keeps you informed and makes you laugh a little. We live in hell and I believe humour helps keep this place a little bit cooler.

I’m sharing my feelings about the so-called US Supreme Court ruling for a bigoted immigration system, the US government spending $98,000 a minute on nuclear weapons and the White House stating that killing Palestinians is a success 

Onto the news… 

News that made me say I don’t want to look Joe Biden in the eyes

The White House, a place that should be renamed the Villain House, announced that the attack on the Nuseirat camp which killed over 250 Palestinians was a “success.” I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t consider murdering even one person a success, but I’m not a villain who takes pride in villainy. Even Doctor Evil himself would think this is too evil for him. Not that you asked, but my idea of a good success is making it to my local coffee shop before they run out of vegan cupcakes.

At this point it should be very clear to everyone that Israel and the United States of America are no longer trying to hide the fact that they are the bad guys of this dystopian nightmare. The only thing left is for the IOF and the US military to start wearing uniforms clearly labelled villains. At least this will clear it up for anyone who doesn’t align themselves with the axis of evil. It will garner more adulation among the pro-settler colonialism, pro-genocide fanbase so it would be a win for them.

To label killing innocent people a success means that you consider a world where people live peacefully and every life matters a failure. The reason why the United States is able to label the murdering of hundreds of Palestinians to “save” four captives (who would have been acquired through peaceful measures) is because the United States is built on the idea that not all humans are equal.

When the genociders and enslavers who wrote the declaration of independence said “all men are created equal”, they looked at each other and laughed haughtily. Someone probably asked, “Should we write ‘JK’ in parentheses? No one is going to believe we believe all men are created equal.” And then Jefferson said, “No, then people will know when we say freedom what we really mean is freedom for white men to dominate people and steal their homes.”

If you want to go around pillaging the globe so you can have fancy things, you can’t go around thinking everyone is equal. If you did, you might start feeling a little guilty about your actions and all the riches you’re amassing. I don’t know if you know this, but having a conscience is actually really bad for colonialism. Before you become a coloniser you have to get rid of the humanity in you that would tell you killing anyone to get nice things is beyond evil.

I really want to know how the elites and politicians like Biden who do their bidding are able to get rid of all their humanity because I would like to get rid of the part of my humanity that thinks people are angry with me all the time.

I really want to get into the brain of someone who would come up with a plan to smuggle murderers in an aid truck then murder the people who would need the items in that aid truck. How high on white supremacy do you have to be to think that murdering hundreds of people makes you a hero? Actually, on second thought, I don’t want to get into a white supremacist’s brain. I don’t think my brain has the capacity to process such deep hatred and it would explode. I’m sure looking into Joe Biden’s eyes would be like looking into Medusa’s eyes.

News that made me feel like I’m better at budgeting than the government

The United States government spent 98,000 dollars a minute on nuclear weapons in 2023. Go ahead and pick up your jaw from the floor and pat yourself on the back for not being as bad of a budgeter as a whole government. Here I felt guilty spending 50 cents a day on gushers because I was high, and later thinking there is no worse way to spend money. Turns out my money was going towards something much worse. I should have been more worried about how much money I was spending on nuclear weapons. I’m glad that I didn’t know this news back then because nothing ruins your high more than a reminder that you are being forced to pay for bombs. 

Spending 51.5 billion dollars on nuclear bombs while 50% of people in the so-called United States of America can’t afford their rent and homelessness is at a record high is quite a bold move. By bold move I mean extremely evil, but what else do you expect from an evil empire? No one has ever said that the evil empire is actually pretty nice unless they are a weapons manufacturer. Weapons manufacturers love bombs, which is why they spent over $118 million to lobby government officials and support think tanks leading to 8 billion dollars in contracts to support nuclear weapons all over the world. 

Surprise! Corporations bribe politicians and “smart people” so the government can pay them to make nuclear bombs! Okay, this is not a surprise if you are me because I already know that corporations and the governments are besties who discuss how to make hell hotter for us during brunch. 

If this is surprising to you, feel free to scream into the abyss and start thinking about what you can do in your everyday life to fight against the evil empire. The abyss generally doesn’t respond but the screaming feels good. 

I simply refuse to accept a world where my labour is used to harm other people when I want to use my labour to love and take care of people. You should refuse to accept this world too. Being forced to pay taxes to an entity that does exactly the opposite of what is good for humanity is not my purpose. My purpose is to love others, make art, and compliment people’s outfits. I sometimes like to smoke weed too but I don’t want to claim that as a purpose. I view that more as a side hustle. 

I don’t know what your purpose is, but no one’s purpose is to labour on this rock to build weapons of destruction. No one’s purpose is to wake up every morning and spend their time making sure nuclear bombs are built. So if you are in this line of work, the first thing you can do for yourself and humanity is to quit your job and spend the rest of your life convincing everyone who you know to quit too. Even if it makes brunch very uncomfortable, do it until they quit or stop inviting you to brunch.

News that made me share a moment from my life in Texas 

A Salvadoran man, Luis Asencio-Cordero, was denied entry into the US to be with his family because he has tattoos. A consular officer who is definitely not racist claimed the tattoos meant Luis is a member of MS-13 and was coming to the United States to carry out unlawful activity. I didn’t know having tattoos made you a member of the gang MS-13. 

This means the entirety of Bushwick is overrun with white trust fund babies from the midwest who are part of MS-13. I’m sure the consular who asserted that Luis was a member of MS-13 would also assume the blonde tattooed artist collective member who lives in a loft on top of a bodega in Williamsburg is also a gang member. 

A majority of the supreme court agreed with the not racist consular officer by ruling that American citizens do not have a “constitutional right to have their non-citizen spouses enter the United States.” I’m sure this opinion will be equally applied to all people regardless of nationalities, race, and creed. 

💌

So not only can someone who thinks having tattoos and being born in Central America makes someone a gang member keep families separate, they don’t even have to explain themselves. Which means your neighbour who wears the heritage not hate confederate flag hat can work at a consular office, deny anyone’s partner from entering the United States, and not have to explain himself. 

Good for you if you don’t have a neighbour who insists the American confederacy was not a racist institution. I grew up in Texas and went to a college where a kid sitting right next to me exclaimed in excitement how his parents had sent him a confederate flag to decorate his dorm with. Then upon realising there was a Black person in the room (there were only 33 Black kids in the whole school), he said “it’s heritage not hate.” I loved that he was uncomfortable. Also, imagine going to college to get an education when you are committed to staying ignorant. 

People like that man exist everywhere in the United States of America because you can’t spell the United States of America without racism. These people also work in the government –, *gasp in false surprise.* People who are racists also tend to be bigoted in other ways, which explains why I’ve never seen a confederate LGBTQIA+ flag being flown. 

If the Supreme Court says that in a world filled with bigoted people, consular officers don’t have to explain why they have rejected someone’s entrance. Especially if the case brought to make the decision showcased the racism of the consular officer more than a large water bong on a coffee table showcases the weed habits of the owner of the coffee table. It’s clear the Supreme Court wants an environment of unchecked bigotry in immigration. I’m not surprised because bigotry in immigration policies is as part of the United States brand as hugging trees is part of my personal brand.

I took a break from the news to talk about myself.

@feelthenewswithmarcela Here are some of my identies! #blackvegan #vegan #agender #immigrant #borders #happypridemonth #anarchist ♬ original sound – Feel the News

See ya later,
Marcela

What can you do?

Design by Naomi Gennery @nn.aa.ii
TopSoil: gardening as radical queer resistance Stammering in the intersections Beyond the pole: cultivating community and destigmatising sex work What is Abolition? What is Settler Colonialism? The Revolution is in 808 What is Green Colonialism? The Black women in my life who bring me joy Exploring mixed musical heritage in collective healing and solidarity What occupying a University building taught me about life