A week of anti-racism protests in France, politicians paving the way for corporations to vote in so-called Delaware, and the so-called US supreme court ending race based college admissions

Hi, I’m Marcela: I’m a comedian, I live Brooklyn, and I really like to tell people how to feel about the news. After wowing zoomers all over on TikTok by giving them news with a sense of humour and anarchy, I decided to start a weekly Sunday newsletter to share my feelings about more news. 

My weekly newsletter has evolved into this beautiful Tuesday weekly news column for shado which also covers international news. I hope the newsletter keeps you informed and makes you laugh a little. We live in hell and I believe humour helps keep this place a little bit cooler.

Today I’m sharing my feelings on politicians in the place called Delaware paving the way for corporations to vote, the current uprising in France triggered by the murder of Nahel Merzouk, the so-called US supreme court ending affirmative action, and people in so-called Eugene, Oregon preventing an eviction. 

Onto the news… 

News that made me feel like politicians are finally being honest

So-called Delaware’s house of representatives is slated to vote on a bill allowing corporations in the town called Seaford, Delaware to vote. I wish this was one of my dramatic moments where I insist waiting for the cookies to cool down before I eat them is actually torture. It’s not.

The bill that will allow business owners who don’t live in Seaford to vote passed unanimously in the House Administration Committee because politicians aren’t even bothering to pretend we live in a democracy anymore. If this bill is passed, corporations located in Seaford, Delaware will be able to vote if the business owner doesn’t live in Seaford. The bill revises “the democratic principle of one person, one vote, to one person/entity/one vote”.

I’m not claiming to know the heart of every single person who voted for the Delaware house of representatives but I’m pretty sure giving corporations the right to vote wasn’t what people voted for. Except for Joe Biden. Yes, Joe voted in Delaware and I’m pretty sure allowing businesses to vote was his second most important issue. The first being obviously to go back on every single campaign promise he’s ever made.

As dystopian as this bill is, at least these politicians are being honest. These politicians are letting the people know that politicians work for corporations not the people. The politicians were thinking well corporations make the laws anyway so might as well give them voting rights so everyone knows the truth.

The only thing that would be more honest is if politicians wore patches of the corporations which paid for their elections on their suits like race car drivers. That way every time we see them we know who they actually represent.

News that made me tell you how I would have gotten into Harvard

This week the supreme court in the so-called United States of America ruled to end race based admissions in colleges and universities. Obviously this won’t apply to rich white men because the purpose of the supreme court has always been to serve injustice. What type of justice do you expect from someone who doesn’t have to wear a shirt to work or can never be fired? I’m all about job security but I don’t think anyone who has any power should have job security because their jobs shouldn’t exist.

I mentioned that ending race based admissions didn’t end affirmative action for white people because 43% of white students who went to Harvard were accepted because they are white. No, Harvard didn’t say, you can come here because you are white. Though the Harvard Lacrosse team did.

The white students get preferential admission to Harvard because they are legacy, their parents donated to the school, they are athletes, or the children of faculty. All these factors are generally factors that say someone is white. It’s like if someone wanted me to get preferential treatment to Harvard they would say, pot smokers who love to colour when high are highly encouraged to apply.

Why would the supreme court not want Black and Brown applicants to go to Harvard or other elite schools? It’s the same reason why the supreme court doesn’t want student loans to be forgiven. The so-called United States of America runs on racial capitalism just like I run on anxiety.

Forgiving student loans would increase wealth for some Black and Brown people and going to elite schools would increase wealth access to some Black and Brown people.  Which might mean Black and Brown people will be less likely to work low paying essential jobs. Which could mean racial capitalism will be shaky because as we saw during the pandemic Black and Brown people kept the so-called USA running while former Harvard lacrosse players made sourdough.

So yes, the supreme court is racist because racism is one of the key ingredients of capitalism along with Jeff Bezos’ ego.

News that made me feel like not all snitching is snitching

On Tuesday 27th June in France, a police officer shot and killed a boy named Nahel Merzouk during a traffic stop. The police claimed the teenager threatened their safety only for a video to show otherwise. Videos showing cops lying is the only type of snitching I support because it’s not snitching. Remember, when you tattle on someone who has more power than you it’s called activism not snitching.

Protests erupted the same night as Nahel’s murder and spread throughout the country because that’s what should happen when the police murder someone. Burning down symbols of capitalism and liberating goods is the only power we the people have to hold the state accountable for maintaining this racist dystopia.

Just like my microwave is the only way I have power to drink the same cup of decaf coffee throughout the day. Yes, I microwave the same cup of coffee all day which some people might find as disgusting as some people find rioting, those people are wrong.

The media has described the riots in France as violence and popular figures including a soccer player have called for them to end. To that I say, cars are not sentient beings so burning them isn’t violence. Also, if you don’t want angry children to burn things maybe you shouldn’t maintain an extremely racist system that makes them feel powerless in the face of oppression.

Even Martin Luther King agrees with me. He said if you don’t want people to burn down the police station while they dance to burn baby burn you should listen to them. Okay, he didn’t say that. He said, “a riot is the language of the unheard,” but I just wanted to create imagery through my words.

All this is to say, Rest in Power, Nahel, and solidarity with the thousands of children and adults who’ve been arrested for fighting against racism.

News that made me feel like we are all we’ve got

Rent is rising all over the so-called United States and the state is helping landlords evict tenants who cannot afford rent. Obviously this is to be expected. No one is expecting the government to say no you can’t evict this elderly person from their home because housing is a human right. No one expects cats to be nice. If a cat is surprisingly nice people will say the cat is like a dog.

If the state were ever like, wow making people homeless is a crime, people would say, wow that state is acting like a person with empathy. This will never happen because the state’s sole purpose is to help landlords use band-aids to patch up holes in the ceiling while demanding full rent payment.

All this knowledge is what led the Eugene Housing & Neighborhood Defense to mobilise an eviction defence for a community member who was facing an eviction on 27th June. The only way Candace King was able to keep her home after the court ruled to evict her was because her community members stood outside her door and prevented the eviction from occurring.

If holding the bathroom door for your friend as they use a public bathroom because the bathroom lock is broken didn’t teach you the importance of solidarity, this should.

Candace’s landlord doesn’t need the money, she’s wealthy and owns multiple properties including a communication firm that helps oil companies with their PR. So Candace’s landlord is very committed to leaving this planet worse off than she found it and the government is helping her.

If the government won’t stop people like Candace’s landlord from doing more harm, we have to learn from Candace’s story and start defending each other. Just remember how good it felt knowing your friend could pee safely as you held the door. Stopping someone from being evicted will feel infinitely better. I know this because I’ve done both!

Old news that made me talk about why I don’t like job shaming

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See ya next week,

Marcela