Love cannot conquer all: Letting toxic Grandparents go

By Rudy Harries

I lived with my grandparents for a few years when I was a teenager, and although they loved me dearly in their own way, the experience was incredibly traumatic for a queer young person trying to figure out who they were.

I have vivid memories of the both of them groaning when the openly gay celebrity Stephen Fry appeared on the television: “they should all be shot” and “I miss the days when we’d castrate the lot of them,” were just a few of the phrases thrown at the screen.

This attitude was also horrifyingly replicated in real life, anytime anyone queer was visible to them. When I was 20, I came out as bisexual with defiance, writing them a long letter steadfastly explaining the whole thing and insisting that this wasn’t just a “phase.”

Love cannot conquer all: Letting toxic Grandparents go

By Rudy Harries