By Faye Odesser
Dear Faye, I’m pretty stuck! After a profound loss of a partner 8 years ago, I made a huge effort to build a new life, going out a lot, doing many different things, eventually dating. It didn’t work so I also started weekly therapy four years ago. Still very much alone 95% of the week. Some sense I need to be much more creative about how I try to go forward. Despite living in London, being super active, there’s a feeling that I’m doing things in much the same way, similar patterns. Maybe I need disruptive inputs, but don’t know how! Dom
Congratulations – of all the Role Model in Training submissions, this is the question that stumped me the most. You’ve tried all of the easy tricks I could’ve suggested: you’ve tried going out, you’ve tried soul searching, you’ve tried meeting new people. Now, you’re stuck with ennui, that terrible phenomenon that’s grasped our whole generation.
This feeling of confusing, endless, frustrating boredom is the true sign of the times; we’re battling an endless listlessness, a hazy future with no clear route forward. So, you’ve given me a real challenge here. I’ve gotta go deep with this. After all, you’re dealing with emotions that grind us into standstills. Loneliness is like a dropped anchor: the more we feel overwhelmed by the weight of it, the more it settles us into place. But according to the song I’m listening to right now, “If you wanna put in work, you gotta go berserk.” Meaning, of course, if we want to find a way out of this, we’ll have to try some creative solutions. Let’s get into it.
By Faye Odesser